They Call Me Mighty Mouse ( My CrossFit Fail)
You don't have to.
But, that's me. The five foot nothing 36 year old (soon to be 37) mother of two lifting over 200 lbs for the first time...DANG! For me that's a dang. So be nice.
My back could have been rounded. I could have been doing WAY more than I should have but alas, not a single coach or trainer was around. I suppose I could take it as a compliment...
Don't get me wrong here. CrossFit changed my perspective on fitness. CrossFit embodies health and hard work and has completely changed what fitness ans beauty means to me. For years post babies all I did was cardio and focus on fat loss. My goal was always smaller. Less food, less fat, less weight, less ME. But things are changing, I still default to poor patterns some days but most days I feel strong and happy with myself, and CrossFit has contributed to that. I changed my focus to bean pole, completely unattainable to me, reasons to exercise to a focus on health, strength and empowerment. I work hard and focus on my personal progress.
So why the harsh commentary above?
To me, when I made the transition from "skinny" to strong. I had to embrace my body and all it's "flaws". My mindset needed to change. I needed to define my beauty by becoming the very strongest and healthiest version of myself and this meant no longer defining myself by someone else, especially that which the media promotes. I needed to appreciate what I had rather than picking myself apart. Simply put I needed balance. Balanced nutrition. Balanced regime. Balanced lifestyle.
And quite honestly, that wasn't happening.
CrossFit originally provided me with a means of empowerment. I saw myself progress in so many ways and I worked really hard but soon I was going backwards. Hurting. I don't know if it was me, the coach, the gym, the other athletes but I felt stressed. I found I was doing more research on recovery and fixing the hurt than it was worth. That's not health.Quite honestly, I was tired. I was tired of being pushed too hard. I was tired of always going for broke for some false sense of "winning" at fitness or being a star athlete. I was older than most folks in there and I was winding up hurt and stressed. I was no longer having fun... the entire reason I started doing CrossFit and so I was done.
I suppose, the journey is different for everybody, but it’s clear that the sport of CrossFit was just too much for me but the foundations of CrossFit made sense. Hard work and health. A balance. It's supposed to bring a sense of strength and power that carries through to all facets of life. So why was I feeling broken? Time for a change.
I decided that the name MIGHTY MOUSE was too heavy a burden. It was a mantle I could no longer honour because I felt I was not worthy. I felt like less, eventhough I was doing more, lifting more, more, more, more...I was done.
I quit. For a while. But something was missing. I enjoyed the lifting, the struggle, the grind, the comadery from the 1 or 2 folks who let me be part of their "clique".
No "GYM"timidation, no neglect, no bullshit. Just straight up training, fun and form. Our goal is for everyone to get strong, have fun and do so longterm. No gimmicks, tricks, fads, or cliques.
SO to all you crazy kids I say:
BE YOU (weirdness and all) BE STRONG (inside and out) BE AWESOME! (don't be a dick.)
WELCOME TO CHERRY BOMB GARAGE GYM
leave your baggage at the door!
UPDATE: We've grown! MORE SPACE. MORE CLASSES. MORE FUN!
I had more or less the same experience. I thought that I was joining a community but felt like an outsider.
ReplyDeleteI am a larger woman so I guess I didn't fit in.
Sorry to hear about your experience because it can be painful.
ReplyDeleteWith societies view of what a "real" woman should look like, it seems we can all fall into the judgement trap.
CrossFit, I hope is changing that. At least at my gym, we sure are trying.
Thanks for your comment.